53: Andre Shakti does Nawlins

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During Naughty in Nawlins 2017 (one of the largest swingers events, in New Orleans), misses Puppy and Jon ran into our instructor for the "erotic wrestling" class.   She turned out to very cute, great a giving lapdances and an all-round awesome person.  We sat down and chatted about kink, polyamory, bi-sexuality, penis size, wrestling, stripping (including "pole burn") and porn.

Andre Shakti is a journalist, educator, performer, activist, and professional slut living in the San Francisco Bay Area. She is devoted to normalizing alternative desires, de-stigmatizing sex workers and their clients, and not taking herself too seriously. Andre wrestles mediocre white men into submission and writes about sex work, queerness and non-monogamy for Cosmopolitan, Thrillist, MEL, Vice, and more. She can frequently be found marathoning Law & Order: SVU under a chaotic pile of partners and pitbulls, and yes, she knows how problematic that show is. Visit her on Twitter @andreshakti, on FB as “Andre Shakti”, and at AndreShaktiXXX.com (NSFW).

 

Shout-out to podcast "Two or More to Tango"

 

The Great Divide - The Gap Between Swinging and Kink

A woman I'd never met knelt in front of the table I was lying on, and locked eyes with me. "Do you orgasm from that?" she asked.

Baffled by the question and a little spacey from the fire play my partner was demonstrating on my back, I mumbled something negative. She looked back at me with a look of perfect confusion as if to ask what was the point, and then walked away.

My surroundings were familiar - I'd been in the space a hundred times for kinky parties. But this was one of the nights where the swing club next door expanded into the dungeon area, and let the two groups mingle together.

The attendees were mostly swingers, however, and I felt completely out of my element. Unlike my kink parties, sex was a much bigger focus. And there was a sudden dearth of personal space. People crowded together and hovered closely over those participating in kinky activities.

The entire atmosphere was just...different. And it wasn't a difference I found myself able to acclimate to.

As I talked to others afterwards, I found the divide was wider than I had realized. Despite our mutual statuses as alternative sexualities, kinksters and swingers seemed to look at each other with some amount of bewilderment.

Over time, I've met people who have found a way to bridge this gap. Some have even attempted to combine the two with various degrees of success. And still we seem to look at each other like exhibits at the zoo, some of us in cages while the others roam more freely.

I like my cage. There's a lovely view of people who live differently, and I pass no judgment, but that life is not for me. For me, different is not a value judgment. Different is simply different, not better or worse.

Most of the time, my kink club is not considered sex positive. That is, we do not allow penetration at our parties. Some people find this limiting and a reason to stay away. Personally, I've never equated kink and sex though, and have no interest in having sex or even orgasming in public.

This is not to say that I don't go home and jerk off, or have sex with my partner there. But I prefer my sex to be more private. When I use kink as foreplay, it's at home, without an audience.

Kink is more about sensations for me. There should be some attraction between me and my play partners, but I find negotiations far easier when sex is automatically off the table. It's one less thing I have to worry about.

Still, I find my attitude to be in the minority. I see far too many people unwilling to explore the other end of that hallway, or even try to understand those on the other side.

I don't claim to have a perfect understanding either. I've seen just enough to know that I prefer my side of the zoo, cages and all.

All I'm saying is that it's complicated. Let's not put anyone in a box - or cage - without getting to know them a little. Not all cages are created equal, and not everyone enjoys freedom. Neither are necessarily wrong.

-- by Daphne

 

52: Parties & Groupies

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Rev. Jon and Mrs. Puppy run the dungeon at Tangerine's Dream together where they broaden the spectrum of kink for fans, newbies,  and curious onlookers.  Mrs. Puppy tries her hand as a top under the expert direction of Rev Jon.  They had a busy and fun night working as a team to bring bliss to the line of willing victims.  They meet super fans Mr. and Mrs. Chill where they provide Mrs. Chill with a little taste of their brand of kink. They later decide to expand on their experience with a private date.

On a date in San Francisco they take the Chills further into their journey of kink. They visit some of Rev. Jon and Mrs. Puppy's favorite places starting with coffee at Wicked Grounds and a nice chat about how Mr. and Mrs. Chill found their way into kink.  They then head to the leather shop "Leather Etc" where Rev. Jon, and Mrs. Puppy help Mrs. Chill pick out her very first corset with the support of Mr. Chill.

After a fun day of hanging out it was time to get down to some kinky fuckery where the Chills find out exactly what their pleasure is as they experienced kink Bliss Bringers style.

Getting a Corset

“You’ve never worn a corset before?!”

Nope.

I’d been part of a sex-positive, ethically non-monogamous community for years. I didn’t get dressed up for sex, I got naked. Duh. At some point even “sexy” clothes were like speed-bumps (annoying and in the way) to the reason we were all there: sex.

Besides, I’m a California hippie – not a Victorian costume in my whole repertoire. I’m all bracelets, rings, and chains, wood and metal—natural clanking elements.

But I wanted to feel something. Something else. Sensations. Surrender. Uncertainty. Fear? Pleasure? Painpleasure or Pleasurepain?

So I entered into another arena, one where there are uniforms and rules and consequences.

Continue reading

51: Just Hanging Out

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SinD, Reverend Jon, Bill and Alice hang out together in this post-action debrief bedcast.  It was Alice's first visit to a BDSM dungeon (we took her to "Dragon's Gate" in Los Angeles), where she got tied up and suspended, and had all sorts of things done to her.    We give our updates and review our progress in the lifestyles of BDSM, Swinging and polyamory.

 

Naughty in Nawlins - Special offer

Quick note: We are going to "Nawty in New Orleans"!   There are a few rooms left, so if you want to party with us and a few thousand of our closest swinger friends, sign up now!

 

49: Spanking new relationships: The scale from swinging to polyamory

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Mister Bill, Jon and SinD first debrief about  Fetish and Fantasy event, then about their various polyamorous and swinging relationships.   Bill does an inventory of his relationships and reviews how they are similar but different.

Jon interviews a brand-new member of the "Dragon's Gate" gang, who at her young age has dived deep into kink and her various turn-ons.

Back home, the newly formed poly gang (SinD, Jon, Night owl) debriefs about the changes in their relationship.

This episode is a bit different from the usual form, as we give our unfiltered feelings an thoughts on the journey throughout the various forms of non-monogamy.

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