The gang debriefs from Naughty in Nawlins and Mr. Puppy gives advise on how to behave on swinger dating sites. How to create a profile, how to respond.
If you have any questions you would like to hear answered, just ask.
Part 2 of our Naughty in Nawlins visit:
We interviewed Organic Loven and a bunch of visitors, each with their own vision on swinging, kink and sexuality, and close it up by dragging the couple from "Ecstatic Hearts" into our bed for interview on tantra, sacred sexuality, and improving and extending your orgasms thru specific techniques and vocalisations.
Want to join in the fun at NiN? Make sure to grab your room before they sell out!
We are taking a short break from our regularly schedules debauchery to point you to some serious science stuff going on!
The Open Relationships Project is doing a study and they need your help. Give them a couple minutes of your time to help people understands your lifestyle. It doesn't cost anything, you may even win some!
Open Relationships Project
Relationship Quality for Non-Monogamous Couples Study: Do Motives Matter?
Romantic relationships have a profound impact on physical and mental health (e.g., Kiecolt-Glaser & Newton, 2001). People in long-term romantic relationships often rely on their romantic partners to meet a broad range of psychological needs; including emotional intimacy, sexual intimacy, social support, acceptance, and personal growth; as well as practical needs, such as co-parenting children and co-managing finances and households. However, modern romantic relationships may in fact be suffocating under these demands, as society encourages unrealistic expectations about a single person’s ability to meet such a broad range of needs simultaneously (Finkel, Hui, Carswell, & Larson, 2014).
CNM is an umbrella term that includes open relationships (sex without love without a partner’s participation is okay), swinging (focus on having sex without love) and polyamory (focus on loving more than one person) (Matsick, Conley, Ziegler, Moors, & Rubin, 2013).
People in CNM relationships have been shown to enjoy similar levels of relationship quality to those in monogamous relationships. CNM relationships rank similarly in terms of sexual satisfaction, relationship satisfaction, closeness, trust and commitment (Seguin, Blais, Goyer, Adam, Lavoie, Rodrigue, Magontier, 2016).
The University of Utah Relationship Decisions Lab under the direction of Samantha Joel PhD., are looking for participants in monogamous relationships who are currently considering opening up their relationships (but have yet to do so) to take a survey. We are looking for individuals who have never opened up and individuals who have opened up in the past but are currently with one partner and are planning on opening up again. This study is looking at understanding how people choose to open their relationships and what their experiences of this relationship transition look like.
If you or anyone you know fits our qualifications, we invite you to take this survey. Not only will you be furthering science, but you will be entered to win a $100 Amazon gift card.
During Naughty in Nawlins 2017 (one of the largest swingers events, in New Orleans), misses Puppy and Jon ran into our instructor for the "erotic wrestling" class. She turned out to very cute, great a giving lapdances and an all-round awesome person. We sat down and chatted about kink, polyamory, bi-sexuality, penis size, wrestling, stripping (including "pole burn") and porn.
Andre Shakti is a journalist, educator, performer, activist, and professional slut living in the San Francisco Bay Area. She is devoted to normalizing alternative desires, de-stigmatizing sex workers and their clients, and not taking herself too seriously. Andre wrestles mediocre white men into submission and writes about sex work, queerness and non-monogamy for Cosmopolitan, Thrillist, MEL, Vice, and more. She can frequently be found marathoning Law & Order: SVU under a chaotic pile of partners and pitbulls, and yes, she knows how problematic that show is. Visit her on Twitter @andreshakti, on FB as “Andre Shakti”, and at AndreShaktiXXX.com (NSFW).
Shout-out to podcast "Two or More to Tango"
A woman I'd never met knelt in front of the table I was lying on, and locked eyes with me. "Do you orgasm from that?" she asked.
Baffled by the question and a little spacey from the fire play my partner was demonstrating on my back, I mumbled something negative. She looked back at me with a look of perfect confusion as if to ask what was the point, and then walked away.
My surroundings were familiar - I'd been in the space a hundred times for kinky parties. But this was one of the nights where the swing club next door expanded into the dungeon area, and let the two groups mingle together.
The attendees were mostly swingers, however, and I felt completely out of my element. Unlike my kink parties, sex was a much bigger focus. And there was a sudden dearth of personal space. People crowded together and hovered closely over those participating in kinky activities.
The entire atmosphere was just...different. And it wasn't a difference I found myself able to acclimate to.
As I talked to others afterwards, I found the divide was wider than I had realized. Despite our mutual statuses as alternative sexualities, kinksters and swingers seemed to look at each other with some amount of bewilderment.
Over time, I've met people who have found a way to bridge this gap. Some have even attempted to combine the two with various degrees of success. And still we seem to look at each other like exhibits at the zoo, some of us in cages while the others roam more freely.
I like my cage. There's a lovely view of people who live differently, and I pass no judgment, but that life is not for me. For me, different is not a value judgment. Different is simply different, not better or worse.
Most of the time, my kink club is not considered sex positive. That is, we do not allow penetration at our parties. Some people find this limiting and a reason to stay away. Personally, I've never equated kink and sex though, and have no interest in having sex or even orgasming in public.
This is not to say that I don't go home and jerk off, or have sex with my partner there. But I prefer my sex to be more private. When I use kink as foreplay, it's at home, without an audience.
Kink is more about sensations for me. There should be some attraction between me and my play partners, but I find negotiations far easier when sex is automatically off the table. It's one less thing I have to worry about.
Still, I find my attitude to be in the minority. I see far too many people unwilling to explore the other end of that hallway, or even try to understand those on the other side.
I don't claim to have a perfect understanding either. I've seen just enough to know that I prefer my side of the zoo, cages and all.
All I'm saying is that it's complicated. Let's not put anyone in a box - or cage - without getting to know them a little. Not all cages are created equal, and not everyone enjoys freedom. Neither are necessarily wrong.
-- by Daphne
Rev. Jon and Mrs. Puppy run the dungeon at Tangerine's Dream together where they broaden the spectrum of kink for fans, newbies, and curious onlookers. Mrs. Puppy tries her hand as a top under the expert direction of Rev Jon. They had a busy and fun night working as a team to bring bliss to the line of willing victims. They meet super fans Mr. and Mrs. Chill where they provide Mrs. Chill with a little taste of their brand of kink. They later decide to expand on their experience with a private date.
On a date in San Francisco they take the Chills further into their journey of kink. They visit some of Rev. Jon and Mrs. Puppy's favorite places starting with coffee at Wicked Grounds and a nice chat about how Mr. and Mrs. Chill found their way into kink. They then head to the leather shop "Leather Etc" where Rev. Jon, and Mrs. Puppy help Mrs. Chill pick out her very first corset with the support of Mr. Chill.
After a fun day of hanging out it was time to get down to some kinky fuckery where the Chills find out exactly what their pleasure is as they experienced kink Bliss Bringers style.
“You’ve never worn a corset before?!”
I’d been part of a sex-positive, ethically non-monogamous community for years. I didn’t get dressed up for sex, I got naked. Duh. At some point even “sexy” clothes were like speed-bumps (annoying and in the way) to the reason we were all there: sex.
Besides, I’m a California hippie – not a Victorian costume in my whole repertoire. I’m all bracelets, rings, and chains, wood and metal—natural clanking elements.
But I wanted to feel something. Something else. Sensations. Surrender. Uncertainty. Fear? Pleasure? Painpleasure or Pleasurepain?
So I entered into another arena, one where there are uniforms and rules and consequences.
This story is a fairytale but not the conventional kind. It is a love story of sorts, yes I said love. As I wrote about my Magical Surrender I had no idea that my heart would surrender. I had no ideal that I would fall in love with this man who has shown me so many new things. I have had play partners and closeness with others in the lifestyle but this is different in so many ways.
When I met Jon from Bliss Bringers, I felt the need to run from him. I don’t know if it was watching him as he was in his Dom mode or just the incredible amount of energy I felt around him that frightened me. I felt I wanted to stay away from him but I also felt this pull like gravity.
My intrigue started in 2015 and has yet to wane in 2017. We were both drawn, compelled even, to chat almost daily at first and then daily as our friendship progressed. I never imagined that my friendship with him would lead me into such a wonderful relationship and a deep soulful love. His honesty, integrity, knowledge and the sheer chemistry grew my trust, desire and love.
After 9 months of chatting and developing a friendship we played at a party. It was fairly low key not what we would consider a "scene" in the BDSM world. The sex was explosive and I wanted more of that mix of mystery, skill and excitement, and an energy I could lose myself in. We continued to play at parties over the next few months.
I grew such trust with him that it led me to try a real scene, not just a sampler platter. I decided to really delve into BDSM and for the first time requested a solo date from my husband. On that date Jon took me places I had never been and I was hooked. Looking back, it wasn’t just the sex, or the BDSM it was the connection and incredible energy that became like a nuclear reactor in my heart.
My feelings grew and he became this amazing friend, life coach, mentor, Dom, and lover to me. I met goals I have been trying to meet for years as I mentioned in The Diet Dom. I have let go of many controls and become a more relaxed person in the process. He has given me emotional support and always encourages me in the healthiest way possible.
Neither of us were looking for a polyamorous relationship. We are both married and very in love with our spouses. We are both very open minded in the lifestyle. We both avoided labeling what we were feeling until that no longer made sense. Our spouses seemed to know before we could admit it to ourselves and each other that we had fallen in love. Mr. Puppy (my husband) and Mistress SinD (Jon’s wife) have been amazingly encouraging and supportive to us. I can’t thank them enough for their willingness to share. I love them both dearly.
Finally, we let go into this great love as we both surrendered and shared our feelings with each other. The friendship, trust, and the surrender have taken me down an amazing path that has brought me to a loving relationship with my Sir, my Dom, lover and boyfriend Jon. This man I was once afraid of has become a great love and just as in a fairytale a prince to me. Our journey and story to be continued.......
P.S. Jon... I love you!
Mrs. Puppy (Pet)
SinD, Reverend Jon, Bill and Alice hang out together in this post-action debrief bedcast. It was Alice's first visit to a BDSM dungeon (we took her to "Dragon's Gate" in Los Angeles), where she got tied up and suspended, and had all sorts of things done to her. We give our updates and review our progress in the lifestyles of BDSM, Swinging and polyamory.
Quick note: We are going to "Nawty in New Orleans"! There are a few rooms left, so if you want to party with us and a few thousand of our closest swinger friends, sign up now!