Reporting back from Desire

(Yes, this post is long overdue.  Life happens)

We just returned from a fabulous time at Desire Cancun, and I absolutely need to pass on the advise and observations.


  1. Talk to everybody you meet.  Yes, everybody.  This is the single best thing you can do.  Yes, that includes people that are not your type.
  2. Start early.  When you arrive, drop off the bags in the room chug down a water from the fridge.  Go to the hot-tub area, strip and dive in.  Order a drink.  See also: Step 1.
  3. Don't drink too much.   Really.  Alcohol should be a tool, not destination.
  4. If you really want alcohol, order wine.   The rest of the alcoholic drinks are watered down; That's not "being cheap", that's "looking out for you".  Believe me.
  5. Book a massage by Claudia. People almost get into fights to get an appointment, so book early.
  6.  Regardless of the outfit, there should always be a spot for an "emergency condom".
  7. Never run when you’re scared.
  8. Sunscreen.  Always.
  9. Never turn down body shots.
  10. Bring a small flashlight to the playroom.


I can testify on each of these:

She's already out there hitting on people on she doesn't yet have my cum out of her mouth! What a trooper!

There is a market for alcohol free vegan body shots.

How do vegans give blowjobs? Does it count as animal product?

 No, we are not married.   Well, yes, we are, but not to each-other.   Theses and these are together.  Sorry about the confusion.

Wait: You are selling leather artwork here, but you didn't bring the chaps.  Didn't they tell you beforehand what kind of place this is?

(To a newbie couple) "An orgy is just like that threesome, just with more people"

Excuse me, this bed has a 2 orgasm minimum.

Craiglist "dating"

I just discovered this awesome video, and could help cracking up.

Then it hit me: Why is this so funny to us?  Because it is true.
We know many couples that met thru online dating on eHarmony or similar sites.

And guess what... some of those same couples, after a while, they do start looking for playmates, including on craiglist.

Ok, you caught me...

"I like your bumper sticker" he said to me as he leaned over to pick up his brief case. I laughed and replied "Which one, the Belgian bumper sticker?" Assuming he meant the humor in my husband's taste of signage on his car.

The man laughed quietly while standing next to me, as he looked me directly in the eyes and says "No, the other one...the LL sticker next to the Belgian sticker!"

I was shocked and a bit embarrassed. I smiled and quickly searched for a witty response that wouldn't give our secret lifestyle away. Heck, who knows, maybe man likes Yin and Yang signs with LL in the middle.

I quickly blurt out "Yeah, that's my husbands car, he likes the "Loven Life" sign.

The man continues to smile and says "my wife and I use to belong to the Lifestyle Lounge. We're on break...My name is Dennis"

My head started to race as my cheeks began to flush red.

He reached his hand out towards me to shake my hand, still smiling and then said..."it's nice meeting you, I hope to see you again."

I giggled like a school girl.

He walked over to his car where his colleague is waiting, looks back at me one last time, smiling as he climbed inside. In that moment, I felt like we were part of some secret club and had one of those fun moments that only he and I understood.

In some magical way, it reminded me of being a kid doing the secret handshake with a long time friend.

My husband returned home from taking his walk as "Denis" drove away. I asked how his walk was and then said..."You won't believe what just happened to me.....!!!"

Blooper #4

Setting: A play party at somebodies house. Lotsa couples everywhere.

Mrs. SFCUTIES and Mr. [Censored] jump into the shower to clean up. I (Mr. SFCUTIES) sneak in after them. Everything goes well until the MRS decides she needs soap.

"Hey! There's a shiny box fixed to the wall! It has a button!"

I had already seen that it was not a soap dispenser, since that was on my side of the shower. Half-way through my yelling of "Don't touch that", the disinfectant sprayer system (that just got activated) fires... Hitting everybody in general and me in the face.

Me: "Uuurghh".
Mrs: "Oh sorry honey, let me spray it off".
And the Mrs uses the shower head to spray my face.
Unfortunately, in the cramped shower Mr. [Censored]'s butt had changed the water temperature valve from "warm & cosy" to "melt the skin of your body"-hot.

Needless to say, I left the shower in a less than sexy way.

Moral of the story:
There are some buttons that shouldn't be pushed.

Anybody else have any bloopers to share?