2: Baring it all

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Desire NudismIn this episode:

  • Professor Tea and the captain take us back in time, to the first report of their "Nude resort trip" in a more "prudish" era.  She talks first-hand about the visit to "Desire Cancun Mexico", a resort for nudists and swingers alike.  We visit the fear and excitement behind this first-time adventure, and how one comes to deal with body-image issues and the swinger scene.
  • SinD and Jon report about their "Candy's" adventure, a local swing club.
  • News about Midori's art exhibition.
  • Experiments with blowjobs.

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1: Origin Stories

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In this episode:

  • What the Bliss Bringers podcast is all about.
  • Meet the Bliss Bringers: Just John, Mistress SinD, The Captain, and Professor Tea.
  • Updates on our recent adventures (including lurid details).
  • Origin stories: how we got here..
  • Naughty News.
  • Professor Tea's Luscious Lab:  Professor Tea and her lab partner, The Captain, report on the fifteen minute orgasm.

 

Reference links

Lifestyle Out Loud Podcast

The 4-Hour Body: An Uncommon Guide to Rapid Fat-Loss, Incredible Sex, and Becoming Superhuman  by Timothy Ferriss (New York: Random House, 2010).  Tim Ferriss also has a 4HB website that's kind of interesting.

Summary of how to do the 15-minute orgasm.

For more on the University of Toronto student group's swinger party at the Oasis Aqualounge to kick off Sexual Awareness Week back in January, check out this article.

 

Reporting back from Desire

(Yes, this post is long overdue.  Life happens)

We just returned from a fabulous time at Desire Cancun, and I absolutely need to pass on the advise and observations.

Tips

  1. Talk to everybody you meet.  Yes, everybody.  This is the single best thing you can do.  Yes, that includes people that are not your type.
  2. Start early.  When you arrive, drop off the bags in the room chug down a water from the fridge.  Go to the hot-tub area, strip and dive in.  Order a drink.  See also: Step 1.
  3. Don't drink too much.   Really.  Alcohol should be a tool, not destination.
  4. If you really want alcohol, order wine.   The rest of the alcoholic drinks are watered down; That's not "being cheap", that's "looking out for you".  Believe me.
  5. Book a massage by Claudia. People almost get into fights to get an appointment, so book early.
  6.  Regardless of the outfit, there should always be a spot for an "emergency condom".
  7. Never run when you’re scared.
  8. Sunscreen.  Always.
  9. Never turn down body shots.
  10. Bring a small flashlight to the playroom.

Quotes

I can testify on each of these:

She's already out there hitting on people on she doesn't yet have my cum out of her mouth! What a trooper!

There is a market for alcohol free vegan body shots.

How do vegans give blowjobs? Does it count as animal product?

 No, we are not married.   Well, yes, we are, but not to each-other.   Theses and these are together.  Sorry about the confusion.

Wait: You are selling leather artwork here, but you didn't bring the chaps.  Didn't they tell you beforehand what kind of place this is?

(To a newbie couple) "An orgy is just like that threesome, just with more people"

Excuse me, this bed has a 2 orgasm minimum.

Craiglist "dating"

I just discovered this awesome video, and could help cracking up.

Then it hit me: Why is this so funny to us?  Because it is true.
We know many couples that met thru online dating on eHarmony or similar sites.

And guess what... some of those same couples, after a while, they do start looking for playmates, including on craiglist.

Begun, the Swing Wars have... on male bi-sexuality

It seems life the Lifestyle / Sex-is-fun / Swingercast world is caught up in a drama storm the likes of which we have seldom seen.

The story thus far...

2011-02-27: "Live on the Swingset" does a joined podcast with Kidder Kaper from "Sex is Fun", recorded at Desire. After a few alcoholic beverages, the discussion hits on the good old "third rail of swinging" : male bisexuality in the lifestyle. Some offhand remarks are made towards John from "Swingercast".

2011-02-28: Some discussion goes on between Kidder's and John's twitter stream. It's bit hard to follow, since it jumps between various parties, many of whom have a "private feed".

2011-02-28: Ginger and the professor want everybody to get along:

We believe that allowing everyone their space for their own views as well as their own ways in which to handle how and when they express them is simply respecting them as human.

2011-03-02: Swapfu's view:

The reason male bisexuality is discouraged in the lifestyle is to empower women. ... Men playing other men breaks the deal. By doing so, men would be taking back some of the control they yielded to their partners. It messes with the dynamic because women would no longer be the gate keepers of the men's sexual activities and thus would feel like they are adding risk to the relationship.

2011-03-11: Kidder Kaper's remarks (on Facebook):

When this controversy first began between SC and SiF it was because Laura Rad had said that swing clubs who don't allow bi-men to play while at the same time encouraging bi-female play was a sexist double standard. She called this attitude "bigoted" which sparked a short debate between us and John and in that debate, he refused to admit that swing clubs are by and large anti male-bisexuality. So I contacted clubs listed in NASCA and found that most had written rules against male bisexual activity, and in my phone calls I heard one of the owners say, "Nobody wants to see that."

Our take

  1. All the people listed here have been valuable contributors to the community.
  2. Fighting amongst ourselves is detrimental to the community as a whole.
  3. Yes, Bi males get the short end of the stick in the swinger community.
  4. Yes, many (mostly males) in the swinging community are still very homophobic.
  5. Yes, clubs should give bi males the same respect as bi females.
  6. No, I don't think that Desire should allow male-male couples. There is a real danger of abuse there. I am not sure if there is a good solution for this problem.
  7. Yes, Kidder should apologize for the personal attack on John. Regardless of his message, the "form" was inappropriate, and not beneficial to the conversation.

There you go. We've put on our asbestos lingerie, so flame away...

Natural Born Swinger?

As a kid, it was normal to go swimming in the nude.

It was OK to walk through the house naked coming from the shower.
It was also perfectly normal for grownups to have sleepovers at their friends.  Just bring enough sleeping bags, and toss all the kids in one bedroom when it's their bedtime, and everything works out perfectly.
It was normal that ads on prime-time TV or in the streets show nudity, especially if the product was supposed to be used when nude (lingerie, shampoos,...).  That just makes sense, doesn't it?
As an adult, nobody thought it weird to go to saunas or "day spa's", where everybody walks around nude most of the day.  If you meet somebody from the office in the shower, you just say "hi", like you were meeting them on the bus.
In politics, Europeans are nearly impossible to provoke using the personal life of their leaders.
When it was shown that the king of Belgium has an illegitimate daughter, some people snickered. a few cheap jokes were created but nobody got excited.
When french president Mitterrand died, his mistress and their daughter also attended the (nationally broadcasted) funeral. Nobody protested.  Everybody understands that power has its own sex-appeal.
These are not stand-alone, extreme anecdotes, but examples how a more "sexually liberated", "no nonsense" way of thinking runs through the culture.  A perfect example of that way of thinking is the term "Ménage à trois" : it doesn't really mean "threesome" but "household of three", where all the persons involved have equal standing, and take their share of the responsibilities of running a home.  Any sexual component is -almost- an afterthought.
As a swinger in the US, I have gotten used to the elaborate setups for visiting swing clubs.  Secret addresses, pre-meets, special guest-lists, password.  Some have protocols that look you are meeting with a mole inside a Columbian drug cartel.This is loads of fun, and adds to the naughty "secret agent" theme.  I'm used to swingclubs that advertise in clear, neon-lit text.  In 4 languages.


Others have noticed this too:

When compared to other swingers from around the globe, European swingers are considered as the most open to this lifestyle. This is evident through its several sex clubs and nude beaches. If you are a swinger from this continent, you will be able to find other swinging individuals when you visit the aforementioned places.

John Lewis writes:

... European swingers are least interested in swinger games. They jump onto swinger activities as soon as they develop a comfort level with other swingers. They don’t believe in wearing explicit attires to woe the swinger mates. The European parties are simple yet high on eroticism scale.

None of this means or claims that Europeans are "better" at swinging (if such a scale even exists), or that they have a higher amount of confidence (I was the most shy person in the room a couple of times).   All this means is that the cultural background of a person can show up in and out of the bedroom behavior in unexpected ways.

I cuddle in public.  I  don't freak out about bi men. I have a large "Lifestyle Lounge" bumper sticker on my car.  I talk about sex, politics and religion at the dinner table.  But I don't bite (unless you ask me to).

I didn't choose to be a swinger. I can't help it.  I was born that way.

(This post was first released on the "Life on the swingset" blog.)