(Yes, this post is long overdue.  Life happens)

We just returned from a fabulous time at Desire Cancun, and I absolutely need to pass on the advise and observations.

Tips

1. Talk to everybody you meet.  Yes, everybody.  This is the single best thing you can do.  Yes, that includes people that are not your type.
2. Start early.  When you arrive, drop off the bags in the room chug down a water from the fridge.  Go to the hot-tub area, strip and dive in.  Order a drink.  See also: Step 1.
3. Don't drink too much.   Really.  Alcohol should be a tool, not destination.
4. If you really want alcohol, order wine.   The rest of the alcoholic drinks are watered down; That's not "being cheap", that's "looking out for you".  Believe me.
5. Book a massage by Claudia. People almost get into fights to get an appointment, so book early.
6.  Regardless of the outfit, there should always be a spot for an "emergency condom".
7. Never run when you’re scared.
8. Sunscreen.  Always.
9. Never turn down body shots.
10. Bring a small flashlight to the playroom.

Quotes

I can testify on each of these:

She's already out there hitting on people on she doesn't yet have my cum out of her mouth! What a trooper!

There is a market for alcohol free vegan body shots.

How do vegans give blowjobs? Does it count as animal product?

 No, we are not married.   Well, yes, we are, but not to each-other.   Theses and these are together.  Sorry about the confusion.

Wait: You are selling leather artwork here, but you didn't bring the chaps.  Didn't they tell you beforehand what kind of place this is?

(To a newbie couple) "An orgy is just like that threesome, just with more people"

Excuse me, this bed has a 2 orgasm minimum.