I have been roller coaster dieting all of my life. Accountability has always been an issue. I never imagined Rev. Jon would end up being my "Diet Dom" as I started calling him as a joke. I've learned that a Dom can show you magical bliss but he/she can also act as a life coach and teacher. A great Dom will use his power over you for more than pleasure. He/she will use their power to better you and care for you in ways you may not be able to accept from someone else.
One day Rev. Jon asked me if I was working on any personal goals. We had a very casual conversation where I expressed my desire to take better care of myself and be healthier. In late September I was chatting with him and told him that my work place was filled with chocolate which coworkers had brought in and how I was feeling weak and wanting to blow my healthy diet. He simply said “Don’t do it!” It came across as a command to me and I felt it in my gut. Since that day I have not eaten a single piece of chocolate at my work. When I look at chocolate all I can think is “Don’t do it!”
We started with the chocolate but now many of my health goals are included. I am now taking vitamins, drinking more water, eating healthy (with one cheat day), going to the gym 5 days a week, I’ve given up diet soda and most recently given up the Splenda sugar substitute in my coffee. Some of these items I set the parameter for and Rev. Jon reinforces and other things he has asked me to do to support my healthy goals.
Rev. Jon does not request information from me daily but I know he may ask me about my eating or Fitbit tracking at any time. I agreed to notify him of any stumbles on my diet or exercise. This helps me be accountable and successful in reaching my goals. He has also asked me to wear a rubber bracelet (the kind you get from charities). If I consider breaking a goal I am to snap the bracelet to bring me out of compulsion to the awareness of my goals.
I try to be the perfect sub and follow the rules but sometimes I make mistakes. One night while out with friends on a day that was not a sanctioned junk food day I ate 4 large greasy onion rings. I didn’t even look at the rubber bracelet. The next morning I promptly told Rev. Jon that I blew my diet. We had never discussed how he would reinforce my goals if I made a mistake. I never asked because I didn’t think I would blow it. I thought he would be disappointed and probably lecture me.
First thing he told me is that it was ok. I had a lot of anxiety at that moment so it was exactly what I needed to hear. The anxiety comes not from fearing him but from feeling that I may have disappointed him. He asked me several questions about the situation that led to me crashing my diet. There was no anger and no lecture. I was asked if I was ready to know what my punishment was. That question froze me in place and I waited for the next text to arrive. Four days without orgasm and that night I was to bring myself to the brink of orgasm and stop.
For me, since I am a very sexual person and engage in almost daily masturbation the punishment felt severe. Still I didn’t argue or plead my case. That isn’t what a good sub does. I kept in mind that his ultimate goal is to guide me and teach me. It was a tough four days and during that time I couldn’t help but to ask for a reprieve. I wasn’t upset when he said no and I actually respect him more for it even though I hoped for a yes.
At the end of the fourth day I saw him. I was anxious that my failure would be brought up and that I would feel bad about it. In most relationships when someone fails and lets the other person down it is often dredged up over and over.
When I saw him we had short discussion and it was finished because I had successfully completed the punishment. Sure, it may come up as a reminder but there is no emotional battering when a mistake is made. With the right Dom/sub relationship dynamic you both move on no anger, no grudges, and no guilt. The level of productive communication and validation is very healthy and conducive to happiness and growth for both people.
Rev. Jon reminds me of my goals and keeps me on track. I have lost about 4 pant sizes and running three miles in less than 30 minutes. I am healthier now than I have been in years! Even my bloodwork is reflecting the differences. Besides the health benefits Rev. Jon adds a fun bonus by setting challenges where I get to choose a reward for success.
A Dom can be so much more than someone who plays naughty games with you. A Dom can offer you support, guidance, and that extra nudge no one else in your life quite has the power to do. The goals I have reached under Rev. Jon's guidance have been on my list for several years. Though I have chosen to surrender to Rev. Jon he empowers me as a person to reach my goals and be better than the person I was. I am very thankful to him for the care and time he takes to help me. I can't wait to see what I can accomplish by his side or should I say at his feet.