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Captain and Professor Tea interview "Just Ask Julie," founder of the Swingers Board and author of the Swinger Manual about her website, the book, how swinging has changed since she started the Board 15 years ago, and how not to be a wallflower. The Luscious Lab explodes this week with the fifteen-minute orgasm, take 4 -- it just gets better!
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Thank you for having me on. I enjoyed doing the show!
I thought this Julie person was extremely condescending and or bitter maybe? "Fakes, Flakes and those who want to look pretty?" Seriously? This coming from someone supposedly sex positive? Sorry Julie but you may want to rethink why swinger clubs, resorts and the lifestyle in general etc are more popular now more than ever BESIDES the internet. Maybe it's because these clubs and places give adults a place to feel sexy, flirty and explore new boundaries and fantasies with LIKE MINDED people without all of the modern day PC crap. You don't have to swing to enjoy other aspects of the lifestyle. Slogans like yours are what keep people from feeling confident to explore the lifestyle without feeling inept or fearful.
Kim, thanks for your reply. I think we have a misunderstanding here. I don't think Julie (or us) will ever say anything negative about people who just want to watch or visit parties to take in the atmosphere. On the contrary, I personally have advised many newbies to do exactly that.
What we will be negative about is people who misrepresent themselves and lead others to believe that they are something they are not. If you lead people to believe that you want to participate, while you are not, then you are a f(l)ake. When you are using a website just for dirty chats, without any intention of ever meeting somebody: That is fine, as long as you tell the people you interact with.
It boils down to the question: "What is expected behavior here". If you are at a swingers party, but you are just there to fix the light-bulbs, it's your job to set people's expectation about you. I don't go around hitting on people at a electricians convention either.
Consent works both ways. Simple communication lets everybody get along.
Exactly what Jon said. I'm all for people who want to explore their sexuality in a variety of ways. Swinging is about more than sex. What is happening, and what I am against is that many swinger clubs are turning into really nothing more than vanilla clubs, where the majority of those who are there are only there to "look pretty" and have no intention of doing more than that. These are people who go to a swinger club then get upset when someone approaches them to actually swing. We've noticed this becoming the norm at several clubs in our area, and that is the evolution that I was speaking that we saw first on the online sites, and are now seeing at the clubs. It is pushing those swingers who actually want to swing (involve other people in their sex lives) to find other ways to do so.
We had a great time interviewing you and like the resulting show a lot. Great guest!!