Tag Archives: bdsm

Confronting Race & Sex with Jet Setting Jasmine

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We have an in-depth conversation with porn producer, performer, coach, kinkster, a multifaceted businesswoman, a mother of three, a clinical mental health therapist, gerontologist, adult film star and all-round awesome person "Jet Setting Jasmine".

We talk about a multiple subjects that are near and dear not just to the black BDSM community, but everybody in alternative lifestyle like swingers, poly or kinksters.

Generational trauma:
Black people have been mentally and physically abused in the past, and some care that trauma with them Think about the optics of suspending somebody from a tree or using a whip in public. How can we as a dominant improve our skills and be mindful of these issues.

Swinger parties and events:
Does your ad copy have people of color or full-bodied people in it?
If not, how are they going to feel welcome?

Talking to your children about sex:
Don't tell them anything inappropriate, but don't hide the need for adults to have intimacy or the right for everybody to have pleasure and bodily autonomy

Shitty music in dungeons:
Really? Does it have to "nosebleed central" loud crappy metal to create an atmosphere? What if people actually want to talk or -gasp- have a negotiation talk before a scene?

Skin color in kink:
Bruising and discoloration during as scene is nearly impossible to see. How to check for problems. Also: Dungeon lighting: a bit of dark can be romantic, too much makes it dangerous.

BDSM and Therapy:
A dom-sub relationship can beneficial for all involved, provide structure and help work through existing traumas. Persons with old traumas can use BDSM negotiation techniques to work out a protocol that will gradually desensitize themselves so they can end up with better intimacy and sex lives.

54: Tantra in Nawlins

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Part 2 of our Naughty in Nawlins visit:

We interviewed Organic Loven and a bunch of visitors, each with their own vision on swinging, kink and sexuality, and close it up by dragging the couple from "Ecstatic Hearts" into our bed for interview on tantra, sacred sexuality, and improving and extending your orgasms thru specific techniques and vocalisations.

Want to join in the fun at NiN?  Make sure to grab your room before they sell out!

 

51: Just Hanging Out

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SinD, Reverend Jon, Bill and Alice hang out together in this post-action debrief bedcast.  It was Alice's first visit to a BDSM dungeon (we took her to "Dragon's Gate" in Los Angeles), where she got tied up and suspended, and had all sorts of things done to her.    We give our updates and review our progress in the lifestyles of BDSM, Swinging and polyamory.

 

Naughty in Nawlins - Special offer

Quick note: We are going to "Nawty in New Orleans"!   There are a few rooms left, so if you want to party with us and a few thousand of our closest swinger friends, sign up now!

 

Fantasy to Fetish

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The Fantasy

Fantasies can become a reality with the right person.  Sir (Rev. Jon) is all about fulfilling fantasies.   One day he asked if I had any particular fantasies I might like to try. I laughed and jokingly said “Yes, someday I want to ride you wearing a collar and a leash”.  I didn’t think it would ever happen.

The night we recorded Puppies and Massages,  Rev.  Jon brought the collar and leash out for the first time.  We had just finished recording and he started the session by placing the collar around my neck then leading me across the room to the spanking bench.  Being so new to BDSM, I wasn’t sure if I was mortified or turned on but I went with it. My fantasy became a reality and as I let go it was hot wearing the collar which reminded me I was his submissive.

The next day I wasn’t sure how I felt about the collar.  There my feelings were in contradiction, embarrassment that I had worn leash yet had been sexually turned on by it.  I told Sir that I didn’t think I was ready for the thick collar that I had tried. I asked that if we ever tried a collar again that it be something much thinner.   He suggested that I pick something out that I was comfortable with.  I was so happy that he was flexible about letting me explore my fantasy.

The Training Collar

I admit, the collar started out a fantasy and not something I really understood the power of.  I went to Petco and selected this little narrow leather collar.  I thought it would be cute so I had a dog tag made. It said Mrs. Puppy on one side and "If found Return to Rev. Jon" on the other.   I gave it to him in a gift bag at dinner at the Lazy Dog restaurant  (yes, we actually ate there).  He seemed amused but had this familiar look that he gives me that lets me know I have no idea what is in store for me. I literally didn’t have much intention of wearing it at the time. I thought we would play with it once in awhile when the mood struck.

Before I knew it this little collar which I jokingly selected became part of our ritual to start our scene. Though Rev. Jon engages with me with or without a collar when he places the collar around my neck he is making his intentions clear that he will be taking over control and I will fully surrender during the time I am wearing it.

A few weeks ago I wore the collar to a party and several people thought it was adorable and admired the tag. I felt so proud to wear what I once thought of as a silly fantasy.  At the party we were fully engaged as Dom and sub and the meaning of the collar continued to gain significance for me.

The Perfect Collar

Around that time we discussed my collar and he agreed that it was time for something a little thicker with a little more design.   At his suggestion I started looking online.  I thought he would want to pick the collar but he wanted me to pick something that felt special to me.  He recommended LiquidNymph because they make high quality custom collars. I went to their online shop on Etsy and admired so many collars. I kept trying to get Sir to give me direction but he merely said the collar I chose had to speak to me.

When I chose the first collar at Petco, I was only focused on what I could handle to wear and really wasn’t serious about it. This time I felt like I was making a huge decision.  To pick the perfect collar wasn’t just about me and what I liked or how I felt.  I wanted a collar Sir would be proud for me to wear as his sub.  I wanted something that was sophisticated but not so fancy it camouflaged the fact that I was wearing a collar.  It took me a few weeks but I found the perfect collar at LiquidNymph.  Kristy Hatton, the designer of my collar was quick to respond to questions about sizing.  She even made sure to contact me after my order was placed to ask my neck measurement so they could remove any excess material to make the collar fit me perfectly.  My collar was delivered in about 4 days. It was packaged beautifully in a small black mesh bag which included a thank you card. I couldn’t wait for Rev. Jon to place it around my neck.  When he did, it fit perfectly and I could tell it was the right choice by the way he looked at me.   I can’t wait to wear it to an event! 

What I once saw as a silly little fantasy has become an important symbol and ritualistic fetish with deep meaning.  When Rev. Jon places that beautifully crafted collar around my neck I know I am his if even for a short time. My passionate surrender ignited by that little snap and the question that follows “Are you ready for this?”

 

 

 

 

Serendipitous Euphoria

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It is amazing how opening myself to one experience has caused me to stumble into an entirely different state of being that often involves unexplainable feelings of euphoria.  I discussed the magic I experience in my previous post "Magical Surrender".

For one to understand the totality of that magic elaboration is needed.

The Count

It all started with “The Count”.  I am not referring to the one on Sesame Street, instead I am referring to the countdown to orgasm.  In my first experience with Rev. Jon the rule was to ask for an orgasm.  The first time I asked in the session he said I could cum if I counted to 10.  The task seemed impossible and I failed miserably as you probably heard  about in Puppies and Massages.

In my orgasmic state, after all of the overwhelming sensations, I couldn’t remember how to count to 10.  I could not focus on anything other than the intense pleasure I was experiencing.   Still I thought he was having fun with me and that it was just this little game. I didn’t realize it was training that leads to an unimaginable possibility.

The weeks following that intense first session I was asked to count to 10 before allowing myself to orgasm during masturbation.  I did what Rev. Jon said although I felt silly but I did not question his order.  I failed many times but soon I was counting to 10 the majority of the time.  After a few weeks of training the counting began to inspire the orgasm rather than permit it.

Commanded to Pleasure

One day I received a text message from Rev. Jon that said “I want you to count down and cum”.

When I read the message I agonized. I knew that what he was requesting wasn’t possible.

I was sure couldn't cum by counting and no physical stimulation.

I am not a liar who could pretend, even to satisfy a man I wish to please.

Shortly after, I saw numbers being texted to me and as the count hit 1 he texted “CUM NOW!”.

I stared at the message and felt as though this wave of energy came over my crown washing down and over me.   Immediately a wealth of endorphins rushed through my body and the level of sexual stimulation that ran through me caught me off guard.  I was left shaking, panting, and confused.  Unlike an orgasm stimulated through the clitoris or G-spot where the stimulation begins in the sex organs and releases chemicals from the brain it was a reversal.  My brain set off the chemicals and my sex organs responded. The sensation ran down my body instead of up my body is the best way to describe it. At this point, If Rev. Jon texts or orders me to cum in person it does not matter what I am doing or who I am in front of I will cum on command.  The level of euphoria that comes with this orgasm is much higher than a physically stimulated orgasm and the after effects last for hours.

I can’t explain how or why I can cum on command when he gives the order or why I experience such a chemical release that leads me into a euphoric state.   Rev. Jon may have the answers to how this works. Perhaps a great Dom just like a great magician never reveals their secrets.

I can only explain it as magical because the experience doesn’t fall into a category of anything I have ever thought was possible.  If I could bottle this experience and sell it, the world would be hooked.   Since  I can't sell the experience in a bottle, I hope that you will be encouraged to delve into this magical world on your own.  I had met several people who engaged in BDSM before I had this experience but no one shared their intricate details.

Perhaps because it is so powerful, it is hard to describe or maybe people feel it would be unbelieveable to others to describe something like orgasm on command.  Since I had no clue how wonderful it could be and I didn't go looking for a Dom it was all a beautiful accident to meet Rev. Jon and begin this journey with him.   I am so thankful to him for teaching me and giving me these experiences. I am so excited to see what will come next.   I can’t wait to share more with all of you.

Mrs. Puppy

Magical Surrender

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"Me Submit? Never!"

I once said that.

I can tell you that every man I know has the same reaction when they listen to the Puppies and Massages episode of Bliss Bringers. They cannot believe that I would try having a submissive experience. In general, I have a very dominant personality and am the type to take control in almost every situation. I admit that there was a time that I thought only weak-willed or meek people could surrender to such an experience.

I've discussed this topic with many people and that seems to be a common misconception, especially with people outside of the swing lifestyle. BDSM is still not very mainstream despite the huge success of 50 Shades of Grey. That book is a sad misrepresentation of BDSM and what it is that fuels the enjoyment of surrender or appeal of domination.

Continue reading →

44: Bawdy Storytelling and the Folsom Slave

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Slave Marcello at FolsomWe got an incredible deal for you today, just in time for the holidays!  This episode is a double feature:

We visited "Bawdy Storytelling" and spoke with the ever unstoppable "Dixie De La Tour" about her concept of erotic storytelling as an art form, changing the community and ... fisting on a first date.

As is a yearly ritual, we also hit "Folsom Street Faire", after which we interview "Marcello", who works as a performer on stage an in various videos for Kink.com and others.  He talks about the porn industry, being a professional slave and performing in front of an audience.

All the images from both event are available in our Kasidie group, since that has proven the best way to keep the kids out.

43: Flogging and Lusting in Las Vegas

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Our gang hits "Fetish and Fantasy" again in Las Vegas.

There is a lot of  spanking and flogging going on stage, as usual.

This year, we have some extra complications:

  • A gang of "hashers" takes over the hotel and causes havoc while our gang is trying to recover from their own naughty but exhausting activities
  • Mr. Bill brought along a vanilla friend, who has no idea what is going on.  She gets dunked in our pool of debauchery, while we hope she doesn't drown in the craziness.
    Spoiler: She does fine!
    We even interview her before and after her experience, which leads to interesting insight into how outsiders view the world of swinging and BDSM, and how the view changes after exposure.