Author Archives: Jon

We're baaaaaaack! - What I learned at Desire.

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So, the holidays have come and gone. Honeymoon travel is done for now (honeymoon is never over 🙂 ).

And yes, Desire was a lot of fun.

Here's what we learned at Desire: (in no particular order)

  • It's nearly impossible to judge somebody's age accurately. Even when seeing them naked.
  • Age doesn't really matter.
  • It is possible to get "pole burn" if you are not very careful
  • Everybody plays. From fashion models, to firemen to russian mobsters.
  • Ciallis really works
  • It's perfectly OK to grope your (potential) future employer's wife during a job interview
  • Mexicans freak out when they see a guy dressed as a playboy bunny
  • Even experienced swingers get confused when talking to a pair of couples on a dinner date. "No, these two are from Canada, we are from California".
  • Champagne body-shots are awesome!
  • Some republicans do swing. Pretty well actually.
  • No woman, no matter how hot, can resist groping a guy in a skirt.
  • Some clitorial piercings are like "Guitar Hero": Wiggle the wammy bar just right and you hear an awesome noise
  • Rubbing bodies together while glistering with massage oil is hot
  • Fake boobies, when well done, can feel like the real thing
  • Fake boobies, when done badly, can look scary
  • Some of those glowing neon bracelets can double as a fancy cock-ring
  • We really need to put name and address labels on our toys

What about you? Got any life lessons to add?

Ok, you caught me...

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"I like your bumper sticker" he said to me as he leaned over to pick up his brief case. I laughed and replied "Which one, the Belgian bumper sticker?" Assuming he meant the humor in my husband's taste of signage on his car.

The man laughed quietly while standing next to me, as he looked me directly in the eyes and says "No, the other one...the LL sticker next to the Belgian sticker!"

I was shocked and a bit embarrassed. I smiled and quickly searched for a witty response that wouldn't give our secret lifestyle away. Heck, who knows, maybe man likes Yin and Yang signs with LL in the middle.

I quickly blurt out "Yeah, that's my husbands car, he likes the "Loven Life" sign.

The man continues to smile and says "my wife and I use to belong to the Lifestyle Lounge. We're on break...My name is Dennis"

My head started to race as my cheeks began to flush red.

He reached his hand out towards me to shake my hand, still smiling and then said..."it's nice meeting you, I hope to see you again."

I giggled like a school girl.

He walked over to his car where his colleague is waiting, looks back at me one last time, smiling as he climbed inside. In that moment, I felt like we were part of some secret club and had one of those fun moments that only he and I understood.

In some magical way, it reminded me of being a kid doing the secret handshake with a long time friend.

My husband returned home from taking his walk as "Denis" drove away. I asked how his walk was and then said..."You won't believe what just happened to me.....!!!"

Recooperating from Halloween

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I'm chilling out on Sunday evening after a long and busy weekend in Vegas with Mr. SFCuties. Here's the recap...

Last Halloween was the first time my husband and I experienced a 3 some. Sort of like dipping our toe in the water to check the temperature before jumping in with both feet. I guess you can say, we lost our virginity to "swinging" last year. And here we are a year later, enjoying the Lifestyle and a new level of intimacy its brought into our lives.

This Halloween was spent down in Vegas. Sin City...Where ALL the freaks come out at night! We spent two HOT nights in Vegas with very little sleep. We're running on fumes tonight, almost ready for bed and its only 9pm.

We met some great couples from the Purrrrfect Halloween Party in Vegas. Iman (Hostess) put together a great Halloween Party at the Cathouse in the Luxor.  She's a sexy and very hardworking lady. There were LOTS of people at the Cathouse dressed up in SEXY costumes..YUMMY!

My Hubby ended up on the bathroom floor in the hotel room with a Playboy bunny (LOL). That's a story in itself we'll save for later 🙂

Saturday night, we decided to carry on the evening at the "Night After" Halloween Party over at the Couples Oasis Swing Club. There were LOTS of sexy people dressed up in great costumes. My favorite costume was a guy dressed up like Anna Nicole Smith with big boobs and a blond wig. I felt compelled to placing my lip-marks on his big chested area with bright colored lipstick 🙂

That man was GREAT at Pole Dancing!! (RTFL-LMAO). There were people laughing, dancing, kissing, and having a great time together. It felt like we'd known these people for a long time. These are the types of clubs its easy to just relax and enjoy Life.  (Check out Couples Oasis in Vegas sometime!)

We ended up in the hot tub with 3-4 couples, enjoying the moment, and watching our little rubber ducky float in between the meshing bodies. (By the way, if anyone locates the duck, give us a call, he's gone MIA!)

The two nights of Sin city was a perfect amount of time to be naughty and then come home to rest, preparing for our upcoming week of "vanilla life at work".

HugZ & KisseZ,
Mrs. SFCuties

Blooper #4

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Setting: A play party at somebodies house. Lotsa couples everywhere.

Mrs. SFCUTIES and Mr. [Censored] jump into the shower to clean up. I (Mr. SFCUTIES) sneak in after them. Everything goes well until the MRS decides she needs soap.

"Hey! There's a shiny box fixed to the wall! It has a button!"

I had already seen that it was not a soap dispenser, since that was on my side of the shower. Half-way through my yelling of "Don't touch that", the disinfectant sprayer system (that just got activated) fires... Hitting everybody in general and me in the face.

Me: "Uuurghh".
Mrs: "Oh sorry honey, let me spray it off".
And the Mrs uses the shower head to spray my face.
Unfortunately, in the cramped shower Mr. [Censored]'s butt had changed the water temperature valve from "warm & cosy" to "melt the skin of your body"-hot.

Needless to say, I left the shower in a less than sexy way.

Moral of the story:
There are some buttons that shouldn't be pushed.

Anybody else have any bloopers to share?