Swinger parties are sex parties. We all know that. But even if everyone knows what will ultimately happen, someone needs to start the action.
It's not always easy to know when or how to get things going. Sometimes, people are coy, maybe not wanting to seem overly eager (why not?). We are not all equally gifted at getting things going.
We've been to a few house parties in our local scene where you've got a whole bunch of sexy people in a room, drinking and chatting and chatting and drinking. And a couple of hours later you still have a whole bunch of sexy people hanging out, chatting and drinking, drinking and chatting.
No one wants to make the first move. Or a couple of people slip away quietly upstairs, which is fine, but for some of us (me), the real fun happens when the sex starts happening right there and everyone is a part of it.
Slipping away to another room might have its place, but it's a sex party, dammit. Where’s the orgy? Yes, flirting and foreplay is hot. It makes me wet, gets me excited about the prospect of who I have my eye on to play with later. It's all a part of the fun. But let’s assume that most of us want to move on from appetizers to the main course and dessert.
Recently, on an eight day sailing vacation with five sexy swinger couples, a sixty foot catamaran, and day after day of pristine waters, beautiful coves, and perfect winds, we experimented with a few different ways to get the party started.
Sometimes it was just as simple as asking someone to tie someone else up or shackle a couple of people to the overhead hand rail in the salon, blindfolded, for some flogging. But that's not what I want post about. That's subject matter for the sfcuties to blog about themselves if they like. 😉
We brought along Swingset: The Card Game by sexisfun.net, a gift from the sfcuties (thank you!). We brought it out for the sailors, pirates and ropes theme night (not for any special reason, it just seemed like a fun thing to do).
The first thing worth mentioning about the Swingset card game is: it's an actual game. It's got rules, each player gets five cards, you get (and can lose) points, someone is supposed to keep score, etc.
I'm not sure about you, but for our crew that was just a little bit more complicated than we wanted. We're a group of swingers on vacation. As long as we can get things going in a fun way, it hardly matters what the rules are or how many points anyone has. Keeping track of cards and keeping score--that wasn't about to happen.
So the first thing we did was forget the idea five cards per player. Instead, we simplified things: each person took a turn picking a random card from the deck. As someone drew each card, they had to do what it said.
Most of the cards are pretty sexual, like “Frost Bite,” where the player sucks on an ice cube and gives another player of their choice oral sex until the ice cube is completely melted (20 points). Tamer actions include “Slippery Nipples,” where you reveal your breast to two other players and they feel, kiss, and suck on your nipples for three minutes (Mmmmm. 5 points). “Braille Bang” has all the women line up bent over, ready for getting it from behind. The men then had to line up behind them and simulate fucking from behind. After a few seconds, they had to move to the next woman and do the same. If you could identify your partner correctly, you got some points
That was a good card. It involved the whole group in some hot action with lots of partner swapping. To me, those kinds of cards are better than the ones where everyone had to watch just a couple of people. It probably depends on what turns you on. Personally, I'm more participant than voyeur.
We totally disregarded the points. Awarding points and keeping score makes it seem as if someone really cares about winning the game. But people just care about having spicy fun and getting the action started in a playful way. If that happens, everybody wins.
Since we didn't care about points, all the cards about losing points or getting bonus points or missing a turn were of no interest to anyone in the room. If anyone drew one of those after some people just finished playing out a sexy card, you could feel the energy in the room change. Instead of charging things up, it slowed them down. After three boring cards that didn't command anything sexual, a few players sorted the deck and set aside all those lack lustre cards.
About then, just when we had the deck right where we wanted it, with only the sexy cards and nothing that would break the sexual momentum, someone drew that card about the line-up. It may have been the last card drawn.
Obviously, even with the liberties we took streamlining the game to suit our purposes, eventually a boatload of swingers on vacation is just going to say "fuck it" to the card game. They will just go for the orgy.
That's what happened with our crew.
That's got to be what the people who made up this card game expect will happen with most groups. It's hard to imagine any group of swingers actually caring about the game enough to read and play by the rules, keep score, and complete the game.
A couple of days later we made up our own game. Each member of the group wrote three 'activities' down on separate pieces of paper and we put them all in a box. We drew from the box and had to act out whatever was on the paper we drew.
This approach personalized things -- people got to write down stuff that would excite them to do or to watch. So if you have kinky people (yay for kinky people), you get a kinkier game.
Both the homemade game and the Swingset card game led to hot group sex in less than 30 minutes.
Without our changes to the game, it might have taken longer with the Swingset card game (or maybe it depends what cards you draw when. You want to get the pacing right. For sure the card game has lots of great ideas. But used strictly "as directed" it might not keep the energy (and the cocks) rising consistently in the right direction.
Since swingers are all about breaking the rules, the possibility of using it as directed is probably not something to worry about.