Tag Archives: swinging

On Getting the Party Started with a Card Game

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swingcards

Swinger parties are sex parties. We all know that.  But even if everyone knows what will ultimately happen, someone needs to start the action.

It's not always easy to know when or how to get things going.  Sometimes, people are coy, maybe not wanting to seem overly eager (why not?).  We are not all equally gifted at getting things going.

We've been to a few house parties in our local scene where you've got a whole bunch of sexy people in a room, drinking and chatting and chatting and drinking. And a couple of hours later you still have a whole bunch of sexy people hanging out, chatting and drinking, drinking and chatting.

No one wants to make the first move.   Or a couple of people slip away quietly upstairs, which is fine, but for some of us (me), the real fun happens when the sex starts happening right there and everyone is a part of it.

Slipping away to another room might have its place, but it's a sex party, dammit. Where’s the orgy? Yes, flirting and foreplay is hot. It makes me wet, gets me excited about the prospect of who I have my eye on to play with later. It's all a part of the fun.  But let’s assume that most of us want to move on from appetizers to the main course and dessert.

Recently, on an eight day sailing vacation with five sexy swinger couples, a sixty foot catamaran, and day after day of pristine waters, beautiful coves, and perfect winds, we experimented with a few different ways to get the party started. Continue reading →

Reporting back from Desire

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(Yes, this post is long overdue.  Life happens)

We just returned from a fabulous time at Desire Cancun, and I absolutely need to pass on the advise and observations.

Tips

  1. Talk to everybody you meet.  Yes, everybody.  This is the single best thing you can do.  Yes, that includes people that are not your type.
  2. Start early.  When you arrive, drop off the bags in the room chug down a water from the fridge.  Go to the hot-tub area, strip and dive in.  Order a drink.  See also: Step 1.
  3. Don't drink too much.   Really.  Alcohol should be a tool, not destination.
  4. If you really want alcohol, order wine.   The rest of the alcoholic drinks are watered down; That's not "being cheap", that's "looking out for you".  Believe me.
  5. Book a massage by Claudia. People almost get into fights to get an appointment, so book early.
  6.  Regardless of the outfit, there should always be a spot for an "emergency condom".
  7. Never run when you’re scared.
  8. Sunscreen.  Always.
  9. Never turn down body shots.
  10. Bring a small flashlight to the playroom.

Quotes

I can testify on each of these:

She's already out there hitting on people on she doesn't yet have my cum out of her mouth! What a trooper!

There is a market for alcohol free vegan body shots.

How do vegans give blowjobs? Does it count as animal product?

 No, we are not married.   Well, yes, we are, but not to each-other.   Theses and these are together.  Sorry about the confusion.

Wait: You are selling leather artwork here, but you didn't bring the chaps.  Didn't they tell you beforehand what kind of place this is?

(To a newbie couple) "An orgy is just like that threesome, just with more people"

Excuse me, this bed has a 2 orgasm minimum.

Craiglist "dating"

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I just discovered this awesome video, and could help cracking up.

Then it hit me: Why is this so funny to us?  Because it is true.
We know many couples that met thru online dating on eHarmony or similar sites.

And guess what... some of those same couples, after a while, they do start looking for playmates, including on craiglist.

Natural Born Swinger?

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As a kid, it was normal to go swimming in the nude.

It was OK to walk through the house naked coming from the shower.
It was also perfectly normal for grownups to have sleepovers at their friends.  Just bring enough sleeping bags, and toss all the kids in one bedroom when it's their bedtime, and everything works out perfectly.
It was normal that ads on prime-time TV or in the streets show nudity, especially if the product was supposed to be used when nude (lingerie, shampoos,...).  That just makes sense, doesn't it?
As an adult, nobody thought it weird to go to saunas or "day spa's", where everybody walks around nude most of the day.  If you meet somebody from the office in the shower, you just say "hi", like you were meeting them on the bus.
In politics, Europeans are nearly impossible to provoke using the personal life of their leaders.
When it was shown that the king of Belgium has an illegitimate daughter, some people snickered. a few cheap jokes were created but nobody got excited.
When french president Mitterrand died, his mistress and their daughter also attended the (nationally broadcasted) funeral. Nobody protested.  Everybody understands that power has its own sex-appeal.
These are not stand-alone, extreme anecdotes, but examples how a more "sexually liberated", "no nonsense" way of thinking runs through the culture.  A perfect example of that way of thinking is the term "Ménage à trois" : it doesn't really mean "threesome" but "household of three", where all the persons involved have equal standing, and take their share of the responsibilities of running a home.  Any sexual component is -almost- an afterthought.
As a swinger in the US, I have gotten used to the elaborate setups for visiting swing clubs.  Secret addresses, pre-meets, special guest-lists, password.  Some have protocols that look you are meeting with a mole inside a Columbian drug cartel.This is loads of fun, and adds to the naughty "secret agent" theme.  I'm used to swingclubs that advertise in clear, neon-lit text.  In 4 languages.


Others have noticed this too:

When compared to other swingers from around the globe, European swingers are considered as the most open to this lifestyle. This is evident through its several sex clubs and nude beaches. If you are a swinger from this continent, you will be able to find other swinging individuals when you visit the aforementioned places.

John Lewis writes:

... European swingers are least interested in swinger games. They jump onto swinger activities as soon as they develop a comfort level with other swingers. They don’t believe in wearing explicit attires to woe the swinger mates. The European parties are simple yet high on eroticism scale.

None of this means or claims that Europeans are "better" at swinging (if such a scale even exists), or that they have a higher amount of confidence (I was the most shy person in the room a couple of times).   All this means is that the cultural background of a person can show up in and out of the bedroom behavior in unexpected ways.

I cuddle in public.  I  don't freak out about bi men. I have a large "Lifestyle Lounge" bumper sticker on my car.  I talk about sex, politics and religion at the dinner table.  But I don't bite (unless you ask me to).

I didn't choose to be a swinger. I can't help it.  I was born that way.

(This post was first released on the "Life on the swingset" blog.)

"Swinger" Ringtones : Get them while they're hot!

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After seeing a posting from the incredibly nice people at Swingercast, I got the idea of creating some appropriate ring-tones based upon well-known "Lifestyle theme songs". The first batch is ready to be installed on your phone!

Why?
  • Imagine being able to hear at a "glance" what kind of call you are receiving.
  • You can decide whether or not to take a call based on what situation you are in, without needing to check the screen.
  • A vanilla probably won't recognize these
  • I currently have my default ring-tone set to "Swingercast", and am awaiting to see how long it takes for anybody to recognize it 🙂
If there are samples that you would like to see added, or if you need a special format for your particular phone, let me know in the comments and I will do my best to add them.

Note that every type of phone is different, and that for getting the transferred to you phone, the instructions will be different:

Instructions for installing on your iPhone:

  1. Download the .m4r file to your desktop
  2. Double-click it
  3. Sync your phone
  4. Done.

Instructions for installing on any other phone:

  1. Read the manual that came with it.
  2. Try it an hope for the best
  3. If that doesn't work, bribe/lure a friendly geek to do it for you.

Enjoy!

Sometimes, technology is just awesome!

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Ever found yourself while getting ready to host or visit a party, to be out of "swinger supplies"?

Even though our "consumption rate" of condoms and lube remains fairly static on average, it seems that the "refill" purchase is always put of the last possible moment.

No more! I already used the "Amazon Subscribe and Save" system for our coffee (they sell Senseo coffee cheaper than the local store!) and snooped around for kinky supplies.

Sure enough, you can sign up for an automated monthly delivery of "Durex", "Trojan", "Astroglide", or most other things that get your rocks off on a scheduled basis.

This is what the internet was made for!

Holiday Pictures: Clear Communication

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During our visit to Belgium, we took the kids (and parents) for a stay in a nice romantic hotel in the historical center of Brussels.

This is what we found next door:


Yep. A honest to god swingers club.

Things of note:

  • The prime real estate location, in one of the most "touristy" places in Europe.
  • The clear markings. There is no doubt that this is a swingers club (and not the dancing kind either), in full few of the public. Nobody seems to mind or care.
  • The "hours of operation" on the door show that this a 7/7 operation.

In the US, most clubs I have seen have "speakeasy" feeling of hidden locations and schedules, and are usually frowned upon visiting. It's refreshing to see that there are other points of view out there.

Unicorn tells all!

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Bless the magical unicorns who have integrity and high standards for themselves and for their Lifestyle couples.

I just returned home from a two day business trip. I travel on business regularly. I'm one of those "I bring home the bacon...fry it up in the pan...but I'll neva' eva let you forget...that you're the maaaan..cause I'm a woooman..w_o_m_a_n! 🙂

Sorry-I digressed!

This past business trip I experienced a Lifestyle moment that made me smile and cry at the same time and it was all because of a Magical Unicorn.

Here's some background to this story: Mr SFCuties and I met a newbie Unicorn through mutual LL friends a few months ago. She's energetic, sweet, mature, intelligent, all wrapped up with a warm heart & smile.

She runs regularly with the same LL friends as we do so we've had an opportunity to play together at Twist(San Francisco Lifestyle Club).

Last month we invited her to our house for a hot tubbing evening. We'd just had the hot tub installed a few days prior and this was going to be the first time we'd invited a lifestyle lover(s) into our home.

The evening with the Unicorn was a BLAST! We couldn't have asked for a more enjoyable night together! (I'll save those details for another blog entry 🙂 )

The evening was so HOT that we decided to go back for seconds-hoping the Unicorn would bless us with another night. The stars aligned and we had a follow up Hot Tub session which turned into another sex fest adventure between the 3 of us...HOT HOT HOT-Caliente HOT!

This past week while traveling out of state, I get this text message on my phone from the Magical Unicorn. She called Mr. SFCuties earlier in the day to schedule a time to pick up her computer he was fixing for her(You know what they say, Geeks make better lovers 🙂 )

She was hoping to drop by the house around 6:30 that evening if it would fit in our schedules. Mr SFCuties explained it would be no problem if she dropped by the house but it would have to be a "vanilla" visit because Mrs SFCuties was traveling. He then went onto remind her of our "Lifestyle Couple" rules and that we only play together because its more enjoyable to watch the love making between the 3-(+)4 of us.

The Magical Unicorn texted me on how happy & refreshing it was to meet a loving & honest couple because too many times, married men try to take advantage of the situation without a "hall pass" from their beloved wife.

I was shocked to hear so many lifestyle couples actually committed adultery...and that's how I see it, Sex without permission from your partner is cheating!

She found Mr SFCuties adorable because of his "strict" rules" & caring nature. This is where I started to cry because at that moment, I realized once again-I have the world's greatest man and how wonderful it is to be able to travel without ever worrying he may cheat and destroy our beautiful world together. I LOVE being married to Mr SFCuties!

I believe in rewarding good behavior so we're heading to a "get your groove" on 70's party this weekend 🙂

Our Magical Unicorn went onto say, she would be honored to play with us again because of the bond and trust we have as a couple and with her.

A BIG HUG to all of you upstanding Magical Unicorns and SHAME on you cheating couples! (waving the index finger)

We're baaaaaaack! - What I learned at Desire.

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So, the holidays have come and gone. Honeymoon travel is done for now (honeymoon is never over 🙂 ).

And yes, Desire was a lot of fun.

Here's what we learned at Desire: (in no particular order)

  • It's nearly impossible to judge somebody's age accurately. Even when seeing them naked.
  • Age doesn't really matter.
  • It is possible to get "pole burn" if you are not very careful
  • Everybody plays. From fashion models, to firemen to russian mobsters.
  • Ciallis really works
  • It's perfectly OK to grope your (potential) future employer's wife during a job interview
  • Mexicans freak out when they see a guy dressed as a playboy bunny
  • Even experienced swingers get confused when talking to a pair of couples on a dinner date. "No, these two are from Canada, we are from California".
  • Champagne body-shots are awesome!
  • Some republicans do swing. Pretty well actually.
  • No woman, no matter how hot, can resist groping a guy in a skirt.
  • Some clitorial piercings are like "Guitar Hero": Wiggle the wammy bar just right and you hear an awesome noise
  • Rubbing bodies together while glistering with massage oil is hot
  • Fake boobies, when well done, can feel like the real thing
  • Fake boobies, when done badly, can look scary
  • Some of those glowing neon bracelets can double as a fancy cock-ring
  • We really need to put name and address labels on our toys

What about you? Got any life lessons to add?